{Brain won't stop}

My brain will not stop...
it is just a mush of letters and pictures swirling around............................................
don't even know if I can write it down, but it needs to get out.
I was so excited for a new year but if I knew how hard it was going to be I would have stopped it.
It has been the old white roller coaster from lagoon. (you all know what I am talking about) You look at it and think.. not that scary, but once you are on it.. you are scared to death it just might all fall apart.
first thing. a few days after Christmas my uncle took his own life. He wasn't even 5 minutes from my parents home. We didn't even know he was up visiting until we got that call that he had died. The phone rang in the middle of the night, and you know it can never be good. It was a sad and hard and emotional time. So many unanswered questions, so much regret of not knowing he was in pain. Being a Mom. I was mad at him for leaving his little kids. They need him. I love him and I know he is not in pain anymore. I miss him.
Next week strep for Reed.
Misery
Next strep and ear infection for Nash
Misery
Next week Strep for Me. (awesome)
no insurance = expensive.
Few days later...
Jake leaves for Dallas for two weeks.
misery.
2weeks later.
So excited to Jake.. missed him like crazy!
Get a call that morning.
Mummi (My Mahoney Grandma) Had a stroke. Probably not going to make it....
Next day... Mummi passes away..
2 days later..
Jake has to stay home for work, Becca and Eric pack me and the kids up to go to Heber, Utah. So glad they are here with us.
We don't get off to a great start... missed a turn, left REALLY late. good thing Vegas had hotel rooms for $12 (and it wasn't a crusty, gross one either.)
I get a sinus infection as soon as we get there. 
Friday. Mummi's funeral was beautiful. Wished I would have known her better. She was an amazing women. She sacrificed more than I ever could have. I love and cherish her for that.
Saturday. Eric flys home to go to work, Nash gets the flu
Sunday. Becca and I drive home.
Hour 1-4 Blizzard, Rain, Sleet, Hail (the kind you can't hear each other talk) Nash has diarrhea
Hour 5-12 Sunshine and clear skies for the most part. Reed gets the flu.. throws up at McDonalds. Then throws up the car. Sleeps for most of the time (thankfully)
Make it home.
A few days later. Get a call that My uncle had a heart attack, but drove himself the hospital and is waiting to hear back. He just thought it was a hernia. (tough guy)
Looks like he is going to be okay. Thank goodness.
3 life changing things in 60 days should suffice 2012. Now that we got that out of the way. I expect greatness until the end of the year.
Amen.

and a little pick me up.
 “When the burdens of life become heavy, when trials test one’s faith, when pain, sorrow, and despair cause the light of hope to flicker and burn low, communication with our Heavenly Father provides peace.”
—President Thomas S. Monson

3 years.. 36 months..1,195 Days...

Reedo.
I can't even explain to you how much you have changed my life. You came into this world with force and you are still the same way. You are stubborn and cute and I love you so much. You show me everyday that you are the craziest guy I know. You are fearless and are so trusting. I hope you keep that. It may drive me crazy all the time.. but it is so good for you to have. You are so loving and just love everyone. You would go home with anyone and I have to make sure that doesn't happen and I think I may just die of worry some of these days. You have learned all your letters this year and numbers to 15! You LOVE the letter R and you tell me it is yours, and you are offended when it is on another sign some where. You also love Mario and love to play the wii. You only play 1 game though. Just super mario bros. and you are actually getting really good at it. You are starting to like your brother Nash now that he kinda plays with you, but you don't understand that he is still a baby and push him around, but I understand. He looks bigger than he is. You love to give us big kisses and loves to cuddle now. I never get to sit on the couch alone anymore. You are so curious and ask me lots of questions. You love to help me cook and always have an opinion on what we will eat. You will only drink milk and we have to negotiate for anything else. I can't imagine my world with out your fun personality anymore. I am so glad that I get you to myself and that I get to spend these wonderful years with you. They are going to fast and I can't believe it. 3 years seems like yesterday..
I made this little video for you and I had so many pictures and I couldn't believe what we did in 3 years. It seems like so much and I only took pictures on a little bit of it.
I am so proud to call you my son and I can't wait for all the years to come!
Love you,
Mom

Jan 1, 2012- Dec 31, 2012

I love how the new year always makes you feel like you are starting over. It feels as if you are wiping away all your problems and starting on a new journey. I always feel this overwhelming feeling to make this year the best year! I have goals and I can't wait to accomplish and its going to be a great year for us. I can feel it.. Or I just feel like it can only just get better.. either way it is going to be great. I feel like we have some direction now and that alone gives me such peace.

Now with the goals, resolutions, whatever you want to call them.
1. Hard to put this one it words, but the ONE thing I really want to work on. I want to be more proactive and just do things I want to do, because I want to do them. anyone one understand? If not I get it, so I am the only person that matters. :)

2. I want to get healthy. I have been on the lifestyle change for a while, but its been a slow one. And Christmas didn't help. But it is happening and its going good.

3. Eat at Home. We have been doing really great at this for the most part. But I still just would rather eat out. I hate Shopping for the food. I would make dinner every night if the ingredients were just in my fridge! But taking 2 kids to the store, making a list and doing all that crappy stuff. I HATE IT! So I guess the goal really should be making a calendar and menu so I don't have to go to the store that much..

4. Try new recipes! I have so many I want to try and I am excited that pintrest has made it so that i can save all the ones I come across!

5. Stop wasting so much time on Pintrest. :) J/k this one is for Jake! He is totally addicted.. (he is going to be so mad I posted this.. hehe)

6. NO babies this year. I want to at least wait another year. It's usually take a little while for me and jake to get prego, but when I had Nash they found I had endometriosis on my ovaries and fixed it. So I am sure that I am just going to be pregnant accidentally since I am NOT ready for another little one. (don't get me wrong, I love my babies, just need a little break)

7. Grow in the Gospel. I sometimes feel like I didn't retain anything from seminary and I actually went.. I must have been daydreaming the whole time. THAT is not unusual for me :) but  I feel like I don't know anything about the scriptures, I guess that is why you read them over and over. So study more and retain the information.

8. More photography! I am loving every minute of this! I can't wait to learn and expand! I am so excited!

9. More photos of my family that are not on my phone.. My poor nash has no pictures! I am going to work on that!

I think that is enough. My list could go on and on.. Because I have a million things I know I need to work on.. I am not perfect, but thanks for thinking I am..

The Cruise!

Okay I am going to do it! I am going to blog. I really have to psych myself up to do this sometimes! I just feels like it takes forever everytime I do it. Okay well we went on a cruise!! It was great! We had tons of fun! and lot of time to relax. We ate way to much food.. I really didn't even feel like eating ever again by the last couple days. ( but I got the flu when we got home and then I really didn't want to eat) So we took hardly any pictures, and I blame that on me. I am horrible about taking pictures.. I know I am a photographer right, but I think that is why I am over done with the picture thing and its my vacation. but then I always regret it when I get back! Oh well we did get a few so here we go!

The Deck! We watched a few movies and Jake was in the hot tub at least once a day!!

Getting ready to leave! We were pretty excited! Jake had a drink in his had the entire cruise I think.. You have to buy a drink card for soda at the first of the cruise and he definitely got his moneys worth!

Key West, we walked to a beach there that was rocky and had jelly fish. Not very cool. Wish I would have had taken pictures of all the cool houses. I would love to have a home there. It was a beautiful!

Formal night! Not sure of Jake's Pose, but whatever.

Jake is obviously not the photographer in the family. :)

Loved the fun animals on the bed every night!

Getting a ride into grand caymen!

Not our boat, but its what it looked like.

Grand Caymen! Weather was bad so they had to port on the ugly side of the island, but we took a taxi into town.

The broom Closet, but surprisingly roomy..

From the bed

The little bathroom

Found a Starfish in Jamaica! Just chilling on the beach

up close and personal

Captain Dave talking us into snorkeling, finally said yes after we got down to $18 a person! Good skills jake!

Going snorkeling

Singing us some Bob Marley

Jamaica

Water was great!

Dinner and a show almost every night!

It was great. Weather wasn't awesome the whole time. So the ship was rocking a few nights pretty good! My only complaint was were by the front thrusters of on the ship and every time the ship would port our room would shake like crazy. So at like 6 in the morning, we would be having an earthquake!

This is halloween..

I love halloween! I think it has a lot to do with that my birthday is 6 days before halloween, so I always got to have a halloween party! I think it is so fun to get all dressed up and eats tons of awful candy! It is a dream.
This year my sister Krista had her baby a day before my birthday! Pretty awesome. I told her she could have waited one more day.. but anyways we wanted to go see the cute little guy so we made the 12 hour trek up there.  Becca and Eric were nice enough to let me tag along, meaning they were nice enough to help me take care or kids and all take up the whole back seat. The drive was pretty good for the most part. Nash thinks we are torturing him everytime we get in the car, but he eventually gets over it. That poor kid has spent A LOT of time in the car so I don't blame him for hating it. I was a fast tip of driving 2 days and hanging out for 3, but worth it for sure. Krista's and Jack's little Indiana Rockwell (aka indy rock) is so CUTE. He is beautiful. I am so happy for them. I got to take some great pictures of the little man! and he was perfect. I can't wait to watch him grow up! My first Nephew!

Monkey Nash

The Whole Gang!

Pretty Freaking Awesome DJ!

Last Minute Frankenstein! Turned out so Awesome!

SuperIndy! Only a few days old!

The Vampiress!

cook or treak.. that is what Reed was saying...

Love him.. Cute Little Indy!

Gotta Have a bow tie!

Goodyear!

Holy Cow it's been a while! I have been busy busy busy! I have moved restarted my photography business, and painting and unpacking and (trying) to decorate this house. Its all coming along. We are doing good. Kids are getting big! Nash is on the move. Crawling and grunts the whole time he crawls. I took one pic of the house. Surprise it looks a lot like our old one.
I am loving taking pictures again. I forgot how much I love it. It is so fun! I have some shoots coming up this next month and I can't wait. I need to get some of Nash soon! I am working on it. Life is good for the most part. I will take more pictures of the house soon when I can get it clean for a minute.
I am heading up to Utah next week too! Krista had her little boy today and Becca and I are making the trek up there to see them. We can't wait!

Middleofnowhere, Nevada

The Bed and Breakfast

I've been wanting to write this post forever, but my kids both feel like they need me 24/7.. Reed is going through an identity crisis right now I think. He doesn't want me to hold the baby anymore and he wants to be the baby again. It's been awful. I don't know what to do with him except let him know that I still love him too.. hopefully this will pass..

Back to the post. a few weeks ago we had to opportunity to go on a road trip. He tagged along with my Aunts and had a great adventurous time. We saw so many things, and things I probably never would have seen. Carina my fabulous Aunt loves to see everything when she travels so she planned a route out for us, and this was our first stop. Unionville Nevada. Now I know all of you have probably not heard of this great little semi ghost town, but it does exist. It was definitely an adventure. It is quite an old place. Mark Twain actually had a cabin in this town. He came here when they had the gold rush.

So this is how it happened. We got off of the freeway and drove about 20 minutes into the middle of nowhere. I say this because there was nothing. It was beautiful. It was also free range for cows, and we did run into them along the way sitting on the road. Then the pavement ended and it was dirt from then on out. We finally got to the Bed and Breakfast and I was skeptical.. it look pretty interesting. My Brother Thomas thought we were joking. He wasn't very happy when we told him that we were really staying there. He said and I quote " I am not happy, and I am not staying here!" It was pretty funny. It turned out to be a great time. They actually have 2 houses that they have redone over the years, but had kept a lot of the character from the old days. They had the claw foot tubs and the old farmhouse sinks. It was cool. The only thing that I wasn't to keen on was all the bugs and spiders that lived there too!

So the next morning we got to have breakfast with them and another couple that was staying there too. It was delightful. We had oatmeal with fruit and nuts, and fresh goats milk, and eggs and pancakes. They old lady was a million years old and her son was helping her run the place. They were so fun to talk to.

Breakfast

After that they let the kids see all the animals and even feed the baby goat! Reed was in heaven and just was exploding with excitement.

Goat Feeding!

Reed and Nash having fun!

This is the walkway from their house.. Isn't this beautiful.

Can't resist this cutie!

Walking back from breakfast

This is the house we stayed in. The whole crew, minus Reed and Nash they were already in the car.

We found a toad.. Reed wanted to hold it, but he was super scared.

All the fun signs