Halloween, Halloween....Halloween

We had such a fun Halloween! It was such a warm beautiful day, which never happens in Heber!  My kids are so fun right now. Reed knows exactly what it is and Nash was finally getting the hang of it at the end. We got to spend it with most of the family! (missed you Becca, Eric, Steven, and DJ) I love living with my parents just for that reason!

bloom where you are planted.

That is the one thing that I live by! We move around so much that seriously changed how I felt about it. It doesn't matter where you are, it is your attitude that will determine how you react to the situation. So that is what we are doing. We have been so positive and the move and everything has gone so smoothly! Always a few minor bumps and craziness, but that is always expected :D but we made it safe and sound and that is all that really matters to me.

We painted the rooms my parents are letting us stay in while we are here and they turned out so amazing. They are both gray but kids is a little lighter but ours is a darker rich one, and we love it! and I forgot how much space is in these rooms. It is making it so much easier to transition. We are happy so far! Now Jake will be home in a few weeks and will begin a job hunt again, so if anyone has any leads please let us know. Thank you in advance! We really are settling in and my family has made that really easy for us. The only thing that is driving me crazy is my DOG he keeps going and visiting all the neighbors and won't stay home! He has always had a fence so he is really happy to roam free! NOT my favorite thing....... and probably not the neighbors... That will be remedied this week with an electric fence. Little stinker.

We also got to go up to Idaho for a few days for a Reed reunion. We finally got to spend time with Jake's grandparents and it was great seeing everyone!
and we snapped a few photos.

 Nash would not let me take his picture, but I did get one of Reed.
Isn't he the cutest!

the rumors..

Well I know we have had a few rumors flying around and I am here to clarify.. We are moving yet again... We just can't seem to stay put, but I think this time it is for the best. Jake has decided to go back to school and the best place for him to start doing that is in Provo. We are sad to leave this area. We have really enjoyed being here, but it will be best in the long run. 

Jake has decided to go to Pharmacy school. He only needs about 2 years to be able to apply and hopefully things will move along fast and smoothly. It will be a bumpy ride for a while, but we have great supportive families! and we will be staying with my parents for a while until we feel stable enough to move out. Jake will continue to work for elite for the summers, and he actually left today to go to Seattle for the next 5 weeks. He comes home just for a few weeks to help us move back up to Utah and then will return for the remainder of the summer. Its gonna be crazy but a good crazy. Hopefully things will fall into place and we feel really good about this decision. First one that I am not stressing about too much! ask me in 2 weeks when the kids are driving me bonkers. 

We feel really blessed to have such great families and offering us everything at this hard time. We love you guys so much and can't wait to be done with the school life and we haven't even started. So 6 years here we come, to living and loving as poor as they come! :D

I am really loving this quote lately probably because it is what I need to hear..

"Bloom where you are planted" 

and I will be doing just that

Love you all!

(Any mommies in the Heber area I am going to need some play-dates starting July!)

Why do we always think we are failing.

I am sure most of you by now have read this article. Don't get me wrong. It was a great article. Ever since I read it though I can't stop thinking about what she said. She talks about at the first all the reasons why we feel like we are failing as mothers and we aren't good enough. Why is it when we see what people have done or what people are doing that WE aren't doing, we feel bad for ourselves.. It just makes me so sad that as a whole, women feel this way. I wish I could change this feeling in every women. Help them understand that they are enough!

Why can't we just see the amazing things we are doing for our family! I always felt like my kids were sent to me for a reason and I have what they need to succeed in life. So I better give them everything I got. They need me not anyone else.
Another Mom doesn't have the same traits as me.
I am the only one (and my husband) that knows what these little guys need.
I am not saying that we don't need help from time to time, but I think that we are built for this.
And we should never second guess that.
I love that she said she was trying. I couldn't agree with her more.
Trying is the best way to put it. If you are trying to be a good Mom to your family that is all they would ever ask for.
I am not saying that I have never felt inadequate. I always want to be better and once and a while I get down, but my Mom did a good job at teaching me that everyone is different and everyone has different talents and to focus on the ones that you have. Those are the ones that make you special.
Coming from a family of OVERLY talented people. It was hard. I always wanted to be like them and be-able to do things like them, and maybe that's where I learned that so early. I had to get over the fact that I was great for who I was.


"you are an essential part of our Heavenly Father’s plan for eternal happiness; you are endowed with a divine birthright. You are the real builders of nations wherever you live, because strong homes of love and peace will bring security to any nation."
I love this Talk by Pres. Uchtdorf he has such powerful words.
I hope all of my friends know this.. I hope all of you know I think everyone one of you are amazing women with so many talents.
and I feel so blessed to know all of you.

{Brain won't stop}

My brain will not stop...
it is just a mush of letters and pictures swirling around............................................
don't even know if I can write it down, but it needs to get out.
I was so excited for a new year but if I knew how hard it was going to be I would have stopped it.
It has been the old white roller coaster from lagoon. (you all know what I am talking about) You look at it and think.. not that scary, but once you are on it.. you are scared to death it just might all fall apart.
first thing. a few days after Christmas my uncle took his own life. He wasn't even 5 minutes from my parents home. We didn't even know he was up visiting until we got that call that he had died. The phone rang in the middle of the night, and you know it can never be good. It was a sad and hard and emotional time. So many unanswered questions, so much regret of not knowing he was in pain. Being a Mom. I was mad at him for leaving his little kids. They need him. I love him and I know he is not in pain anymore. I miss him.
Next week strep for Reed.
Misery
Next strep and ear infection for Nash
Misery
Next week Strep for Me. (awesome)
no insurance = expensive.
Few days later...
Jake leaves for Dallas for two weeks.
misery.
2weeks later.
So excited to Jake.. missed him like crazy!
Get a call that morning.
Mummi (My Mahoney Grandma) Had a stroke. Probably not going to make it....
Next day... Mummi passes away..
2 days later..
Jake has to stay home for work, Becca and Eric pack me and the kids up to go to Heber, Utah. So glad they are here with us.
We don't get off to a great start... missed a turn, left REALLY late. good thing Vegas had hotel rooms for $12 (and it wasn't a crusty, gross one either.)
I get a sinus infection as soon as we get there. 
Friday. Mummi's funeral was beautiful. Wished I would have known her better. She was an amazing women. She sacrificed more than I ever could have. I love and cherish her for that.
Saturday. Eric flys home to go to work, Nash gets the flu
Sunday. Becca and I drive home.
Hour 1-4 Blizzard, Rain, Sleet, Hail (the kind you can't hear each other talk) Nash has diarrhea
Hour 5-12 Sunshine and clear skies for the most part. Reed gets the flu.. throws up at McDonalds. Then throws up the car. Sleeps for most of the time (thankfully)
Make it home.
A few days later. Get a call that My uncle had a heart attack, but drove himself the hospital and is waiting to hear back. He just thought it was a hernia. (tough guy)
Looks like he is going to be okay. Thank goodness.
3 life changing things in 60 days should suffice 2012. Now that we got that out of the way. I expect greatness until the end of the year.
Amen.

and a little pick me up.
 “When the burdens of life become heavy, when trials test one’s faith, when pain, sorrow, and despair cause the light of hope to flicker and burn low, communication with our Heavenly Father provides peace.”
—President Thomas S. Monson

3 years.. 36 months..1,195 Days...

Reedo.
I can't even explain to you how much you have changed my life. You came into this world with force and you are still the same way. You are stubborn and cute and I love you so much. You show me everyday that you are the craziest guy I know. You are fearless and are so trusting. I hope you keep that. It may drive me crazy all the time.. but it is so good for you to have. You are so loving and just love everyone. You would go home with anyone and I have to make sure that doesn't happen and I think I may just die of worry some of these days. You have learned all your letters this year and numbers to 15! You LOVE the letter R and you tell me it is yours, and you are offended when it is on another sign some where. You also love Mario and love to play the wii. You only play 1 game though. Just super mario bros. and you are actually getting really good at it. You are starting to like your brother Nash now that he kinda plays with you, but you don't understand that he is still a baby and push him around, but I understand. He looks bigger than he is. You love to give us big kisses and loves to cuddle now. I never get to sit on the couch alone anymore. You are so curious and ask me lots of questions. You love to help me cook and always have an opinion on what we will eat. You will only drink milk and we have to negotiate for anything else. I can't imagine my world with out your fun personality anymore. I am so glad that I get you to myself and that I get to spend these wonderful years with you. They are going to fast and I can't believe it. 3 years seems like yesterday..
I made this little video for you and I had so many pictures and I couldn't believe what we did in 3 years. It seems like so much and I only took pictures on a little bit of it.
I am so proud to call you my son and I can't wait for all the years to come!
Love you,
Mom

Jan 1, 2012- Dec 31, 2012

I love how the new year always makes you feel like you are starting over. It feels as if you are wiping away all your problems and starting on a new journey. I always feel this overwhelming feeling to make this year the best year! I have goals and I can't wait to accomplish and its going to be a great year for us. I can feel it.. Or I just feel like it can only just get better.. either way it is going to be great. I feel like we have some direction now and that alone gives me such peace.

Now with the goals, resolutions, whatever you want to call them.
1. Hard to put this one it words, but the ONE thing I really want to work on. I want to be more proactive and just do things I want to do, because I want to do them. anyone one understand? If not I get it, so I am the only person that matters. :)

2. I want to get healthy. I have been on the lifestyle change for a while, but its been a slow one. And Christmas didn't help. But it is happening and its going good.

3. Eat at Home. We have been doing really great at this for the most part. But I still just would rather eat out. I hate Shopping for the food. I would make dinner every night if the ingredients were just in my fridge! But taking 2 kids to the store, making a list and doing all that crappy stuff. I HATE IT! So I guess the goal really should be making a calendar and menu so I don't have to go to the store that much..

4. Try new recipes! I have so many I want to try and I am excited that pintrest has made it so that i can save all the ones I come across!

5. Stop wasting so much time on Pintrest. :) J/k this one is for Jake! He is totally addicted.. (he is going to be so mad I posted this.. hehe)

6. NO babies this year. I want to at least wait another year. It's usually take a little while for me and jake to get prego, but when I had Nash they found I had endometriosis on my ovaries and fixed it. So I am sure that I am just going to be pregnant accidentally since I am NOT ready for another little one. (don't get me wrong, I love my babies, just need a little break)

7. Grow in the Gospel. I sometimes feel like I didn't retain anything from seminary and I actually went.. I must have been daydreaming the whole time. THAT is not unusual for me :) but  I feel like I don't know anything about the scriptures, I guess that is why you read them over and over. So study more and retain the information.

8. More photography! I am loving every minute of this! I can't wait to learn and expand! I am so excited!

9. More photos of my family that are not on my phone.. My poor nash has no pictures! I am going to work on that!

I think that is enough. My list could go on and on.. Because I have a million things I know I need to work on.. I am not perfect, but thanks for thinking I am..